The Journey of Love

作者 :董雅真
Author:Jane Tung

有很多人問我：「生病那麼痛苦，為什麼你看起來那麼喜樂？」

A lot of people asked me,” what makes you so joyful when sickness should so painful?”

其實答案很簡單。 (But the answer is very simple.)

今年聖誕節，我第一次參加教會詩班的聖誕節獻詩，心中難掩興奮之情，想想這一路走來，若不是上帝奇妙的作為，今天的我真不知道會如何。

This year’s Christmas I have joined church’s choir to worship together with brothers and sisters. From a long road inside of my heart, I felt excited because if it isn’t God at work I really don’t know what will happen to me.

十年前，我順利考上公立高中，過著青春洋溢的生活；直到一場大病，醫生宣布我罹患了類風濕性關節炎，美麗的生活一下子就改變了，我彷彿從雲端跌到谷底。

Ten year’s ago, I have successfully joined a public high school living in a youth wonderful life until I was diagnosed by my doctor that I have arthritis. Suddenly, my youth and wonderful life have changed as my feeling is like falling off from a cliff over the clouds.

病毒不斷侵蝕受損的關節，疼痛、變形的關節讓我漸漸不良於行，處處需要別人幫忙。「肢障」，對一向愛美又活潑好動的我是多麼大的諷刺。當時雖然外表仍看似堅強樂觀，但內心其實時時充滿著不安與恐懼，我不敢想自己的明天在哪裡，打算過一天是一天，也許這一生就這樣了吧……。

Ironically, handicapped to me who enjoys outlook and enjoys activities is not acceptable. The virus continuous devours my leg muscle joint painfully until it eventually effects my movements. I was in need for everyone’s help. Although I look strong and optimistic in appearance, my heart is fill with disturbance and fear from day to day. I do not know where will I go tomorrow. My plan is to live day by day and maybe just end my life this way…

七年的病毒侵蝕 ( 7 Years Devoured by the Virus)

經過七年的病毒侵蝕，我的關節早已不勝負荷，也就完全無法行走，在大學畢業時，關節也正式宣告「退休」；醫生建議我作人工髖關節的手術，家人都對手術充滿不安。當時已信主的哥哥和嫂嫂，在我入院前夕，剛好藉由教會主日崇拜後的健康諮詢，解惑不少。

After 7 years devoured by the virus, my joint already cannot bear the pain, and as the condition worsen that I can no longer walk. So after graduated from college, my joint condition was in a state of retirement. My doctor has recommended me to take operation and make an artificial joint to improve the condition. At the time of the operation, my brother and sister-in-law, who attends church regularly, has received a lot of medical information and answered a lot of questions.

手術順利成功，而手術後的疼痛是在所難免的，但我卻在那段住院的期間領受莫大的感動。那時教會的輔導及弟兄姊妹輪番上陣，到醫院關心我、為我禱告，就連日後陸續因為復健及第二次人工膝關節的手術入院，教會給我的關懷也一點沒有減少。

The operation was very successful, but the pain was not avoidable. At the time in hospital, I felt very touched by church brothers and sisters coming to hospital to visit and to pray for me. Even after 2^nd operation and recovery, people from church’s care are never less.

當時我並不懂禱告是怎麼一回事，只知道結束要說個「阿們」，但我的確感受到那份真心的祝福，甚至有姊妹在為我禱告時紅了眼眶，我開始想：我和他們並不是認識的朋友或家人，他們為什麼對我這麼好呢？

I never knew what praying is about but I have really felt the blessing at the end saying “Amen.” There was a sister pray for me and had red eyes; I begin to wonder why they are so nice to me even though we are not family or friends?

受苦的人要歡喜 (Be Joyful Even Though Suffering)

現在我才知道上帝賜給人的恩典何其大！以前的我對於罹患類風濕性關節炎或許埋怨過，但現在的我終於明白，縱使受苦的人都要歡喜，因為上帝要藉此讓我們明白更多的真理。

Until now, I start to understand God’s grace is so great! When I had the disease I had complaints, now I really understand from God that even a suffered person can be joyful because God will let us understand more truth through Him.

去年十一月信主後，我才恍然大悟，原來上帝的愛早已賜給了我，而我原先可能視其為平常或理所當然。生病這十年來，我並非孤獨一人，因為上帝早已安排了一切，包括一路上同學的扶持、家人的關懷等，在我身旁早有一群上帝所派的天使們伸出援手；也正因上帝的愛何其偉大，讓教會的弟兄姊妹願意將上帝的愛散播給大家，帶給我如此強烈的震撼與感動。

November last year after believing in God, I finally begin to understand God has already giving me that great love and I have tried to avoid like nothing all the time. For 10 years of sickness, I was not alone because God already prepared every for me include his disciples, my family, and my friends and let it be that church’s brothers and sisters are willing to give more love to everyone which like what I have felt so strongly and so touched.

有很多人問我：「生病那麼痛苦，為什麼你卻看起來那麼喜樂？」其實答案很簡單，因為「愛」早已超越了病痛！

A lot of people asked me,”what makes you so joyful when sickness should so painful?” The answer is so simple I tell you because LOVE has surpassed my SUFFERING.

因為上帝的愛，現在的我不再惶恐與不安，取而代之的是全然的平安與喜樂。今年聖誕節，我要用歌聲頌讚「哈利路亞」。

Because God’s love, now I no longer feel terrified and un-peaceful. What comes in replacement is peace and joyfulness. This year’s Christmas, I will use my voice to worship Him, “Hallelluah.”

作者為台北信友堂會友，原文載於《信友通訊2002年12月號》